gremlins in the womb escaping to cause hell

Otherwise known as Endometriosis. Every year my endometriosis has gotten worse. More frequent flareups. More painful flareups. The Mirena coil was a journey in itself the first time around the track. I will tell that story because it is relevant to the modern day dumpster-fire. As an asexual person the idea of anything being lodged in my womb was odd, never mind people being up in my business to lodge it. But to combat my endometriosis (at that time my GP refused to call it that insisting it was painful periods) I had tried simple painkillers, the pill, the injections every three months. Everything worked for so long and then just didn’t do anything anymore.

I got a new Doctor to talk to about my issues who basically said ‘whelp, if it walks, talks and acts like endometrioses then it is endometriosis’. They pushed a referral to gynaecology at the hospital and that was horrendous. The (female) Doctor spoke to me like I was a child and insisted it was just painful periods once more. But in the end she did sign off on me getting the coil put in. The first attempt was at a clinic in Edinburgh which was horrendous because I had to pass a line of pro-life abominations to get in the door. I was far more anxious then so my rage of comments I’d throw now never got out my throat. Needless to say the attempt to fit the coil with no general anesthesia went badly. I did get an injection of local anesthetic but no. I was in agony. A nurse was holding me down. The Doctor made the decision to stop saying I was in too much pain. My cervix are narrow and my uterus small and shy.

Because of course that would happen to me right?

So after a few more months of pain and torture I went to the local hospital and it was grand. There was fear there because you can’t eat before a GA and of course diabetes gonna diabetes. But it held together and off I went. The doctors respected me when I said my pump had to stay on. They asked for a blood test 30 minutes before surgery, just before, and said they would do another while I was out. It comforted them that my team was in that hospital and I had both brought contact details and pre-warmed my DSN (diabetes specialist nurse) that I would be getting this little op.

Don’t get me wrong….it is damn weird to have your legs in stirrups with your vulva hanging out as someone asks you to talk about something as they wait for you to pass out. Waking up with no glasses on while you’re being moved on a trolley is even weirder.

But it was worth it.

A lovely nurse gave me my glasses back and explained I may bleed for a while and that my underwear had been padded for this reason. She advised I not move too much as it may hurt. Then she asked if I felt able to test my blood or would I want help? That is the sort of care you want.

A chicken sandwich later and no issues at the bathroom and I was on my way. Excellent. And for four years the coil was brilliant. I rarely had issues with my womb and its runaway gremlins. But in the last year of its life all that changed and it happened that as it fell apart the world did too. I grit my teeth and said I’d bear it until covid was under control. There were more important issues right?

But before I knew it the pain was daily. It IS daily. I feel like I will pass out. I spend hours on the toilet. More crying in bed. And today I got the letter saying sure I am on the waiting list for a new coil but it will be 6 months to a YEAR before it happens. It is just heartbreaking.

And my letter has given a list of reasons to not get GA. ‘You’re diabetic’ was like a f you. Then a list of things I have already tried. It felt insulting. It felt like I was being told I would get the treatment I needed if I remained an irritant long enough. If anyone had read my file they would know I can’t do it without GA, that I have tried pills, tried injections.

No one willingly gets put under with their genitals hanging out unless there is a good reason for it. Dignity for patients please.